I'd imagine it wasn't or isn't a priority for some, although it seems many in this sub are actively searching for a relationship. Yup. 20. She blamed her job but didn’t ask more questions. Living in a very big metro, being in your 30s and single is the norm for guys. I was wondering if this is common or am I just a low key stalker? **This is not a place to post personals or "looking for" or hookups. edit: It's been really cool to read everyone's responses. If he was still 22, this might be alright. Compared to these numbers, the Reddit user base doesn’t match these numbers at all. Sticking around too long trying to make unhealthy relationships work. Love of my life. Thirty has long been the particular age at which women start panicking about getting married. I even got stressed a few times because I kept wondering what we were. But it’s not just that being single suddenly feels alienating in your 30s. I uhhh, married him. My parents are extremely disapproving of this situation because they feel like I “deserve better.” I’ve never been married and I don’t have kids. I (36F) tend to get matched with men with distinctive names and/or professions so that it’s possible to look them up on that alone. When I finally was able to settle down in my 30s, I eventually found my wife. Lots of talk about lacking social currency (status, charm, physical attraction, etc) or being dealt some pretty shitty life circumstances (death, chronic and mental illness, addiction, trauma). We present to you our first-ever “Best Cities in America to be Young, Broke, and Single.” I wouldn’t blame yourself for running away from your problems. Follow your gut don’t ignore the red flags. Work on personal growth. So I have these moments now where being single gets me down, or the endless slog of online dating seems too daunting to deal with and I get sad, I cry by myself and think I should just call up my ex, but then I remember that there were plenty of times that i would cry alone while we were together when things were supposedly good, so here we are. So, that's why I'm 33 and single. Thu 11 Feb 2016 09.30 EST. View historical uptime. People who became unexpectedly single in their thirties and forties have been discussing this very subject on Reddit, and their answers are far more life-affirming than you might expect. Many are divorced or single after a long-term, committed relationship. Yes! Only 6 percent of Reddit users were found to be between the ages of 50 and 64, and just a single percent were 65 or older. I have made mistakes in all areas of my life in the past but I feel I am in a very good spot right now, I think a lot of people would love to be in my shoes. Said we’d get married if we were both single and 40. Single by 30 is an original romantic comedy web television series created by Wong Fu Productions.The series was launched on YouTube Red August 24, 2016. I appreciate how open and insightful everyone is about their stories. Don't chase anyone. It was really great while it lasted. I feel like I have a lot of life experience now and I’m pretty certain about who I am, so I’m better off finding someone (hopefully) now vs 5 years ago. All I wanted to do as a kid was push it away and get angry when people wanted to help me. Created by Wesley Chan, Philip Wang, Todd Waldman. Kris Holt, @krisholt. After 4 months, last weekend I asked her to be my girlfriend and she accepted. Once upon a time, norms would dictate that, by the time you hit 30, you should be happily married with aspirations to own a labrador and a night – likely Friday night –that is defined by takeaway fish & chips and a film you’ve seen 45 times but it’s an easy watch isn’t it. One of the key reasons is because they find women ages 35 and younger to be the most ideal. Sociologists have documented that a growing number of people are single by choice, and relish the opportunity to live as they please. 4. Discover new things. I don't mean this in a disparaging way and I'd love to hear a spectrum of perspectives and experiences. And I mean it. 9. So spend the time getting to know you. Hi Eva, I’m a man in my early thirties, so at a pretty awkward age for dating. At least now I can hope to find something better. It’s hard to hear how much of a “great guy” I am while getting dumped. When you're single at 30, you can use your time to invest in close relationships and develop even stronger ties with them. This alone is a big reason why a lot of their relationships don't work out - their partners feel pressurized to settle down and start families. Single and free? I somehow snagged an attractive doctor.. I’m still wondering how that happened. If you want a case study in humanity, 30-year-old single guys have pretty much all the bases covered. With Harry Shum Jr., Kina Grannis, Hillary Anne Matthews, Manon Mathews. Dating Over Thirty is a sub for discussion and advice on dating and relationships for people over the age of 30. I have been able to find almost everyone I’ve matched with to develop a better sense of who they are. All of which are my fault for not dealing with them sooner but you can’t have a successful relationship while you’re running from the devil all the time. Single guys in Baltimore have plenty of fish in the harbor. I didn’t start dating until about three years ago. I used to believe the reason was because I hadn’t met the right person yet. Aside from your own experiences, you’ve had plenty of time to observe other couples’ relationships and it’s made you all the wiser in what you do and don’t want for yourself in the future. It took a lot of therapy and facing reality for me to get to where I am currently and now that I'm here, the dating pool is smaller and many of the men I meet have not done their work. Your bank account, your choices, your time. I believed that all I had to do was keep on enjoying life, focus on my passion, identify the qualities I was looking for and soon enough I would attract the perfect partner. I'm curious to hear what you think has contributed to being single in your 30's. It’s hard to listen to someone tell you that “you check every box” but are not good enough to be in a relationship with. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the datingoverthirty community, Dating Over Thirty is a sub for discussion and advice on dating and relationships for people over the age of 30. I started seeing someone (31/F) in September. A new study ranked the most common reasons why men say they're single — based on an analysis of 13,429 responses on a popular Reddit thread. As children we don’t even know how to deal with our trauma. Even when it’s comfortable. Reddit is one of advertising’s best kept secrets. I knew it would be hard finding a long term partner when I had to travel so much for work. I’m going to binge watch a show and keep following. I’m sitting on the couch now eating a pizza and sour patch kids. It seems like most everyone is living life on their own terms or at least working hard towards it. Being alone has its benefits. Do you while you still can without judgment or permission. Yup. I don't mean this in a disparaging way and I'd love to hear a spectrum of perspectives and experiences. I haven’t told any else yet. Don't even think about it! It’s also that dating itself becomes more difficult. Single women in their 30s kind of hurt themselves when they are dating as in most cases their own biological reproduction clock starts ticking pretty hard by that time. Being single is a precious time that can be used to really get to know and love yourself. I’m in NYC now and it’s normal to see a lot of single 30-somethings. And sometimes it gets easier to keep running, some 7 years later. They wanted me to meet someone like me. A new series that explores what it's really like to be single in your 30s and NGAF. "Often times, people get into relationships and start to neglect other people who play important roles in their lives," points out Nicole Carl, a licensed professional counselor at Clarity Clinic in Chicago. I knew she was holding back at times because I was initiating most things. In 2016, the Reddit user base was 64 percent between the ages of 18 and 29, and another 29 percent were between the ages of 30 and 49. **, Press J to jump to the feed. We’ve seen all sorts of top 10 cities lists: The 10 best places to get a job, own a home, start a family, hit the lottery … Now, it’s time for a list that really matters — especially to Money Under 30 readers. There were also some that shared a story similar to mine-- had some work to do before they were ready to choose and be a good partner. Severe childhood trauma. “I turned 30 in February, and I think my anxiety about getting older is a little different than that of most single 30-year-olds, because I’m also a mother. Most of my social circle went to grad or professional school and it's only just now we're at a place in our careers where we can prioritize relationships now that there's actually something to bring to the table Thank God I didn't grow up somewhere where it'd be normal to be divorced with a couple of kids right now having had no space in my 20's to grow up and develop a good sense of self. I know I did the right right thing.. I’m now just needing advice on how to move on.. Update: it’s been three hours. It's totally normal to be single in your 30's where I live. You’ve observed other serious relationships and learned from them. At 33 I’ve finally learned that I’d rather be alone than with someone and miserable. A Redditor is squeezing entire movies onto a single floppy disk. reddit.com Operational 90 days ago 99.95 % uptime Today. Being single has its rewards. But when a guy’s single at 30 and still juggling women, it’s just sad. The thing about modern life is that, increasingly, nothing is seen as weird. Let’s examine some of the common types: 1) The Total Package. I really enjoy it but I look forward to finding a long-term partner. How about you? But perhaps the motliest part of this crowd is the ever-growing group of 30-year-old single guys. I was also not a great girlfriend in a lot of ways because I was completely codependent and thought a loving romantic relationship was the only way I could feel loved. So I used to nod along in agreement as my single friends bemoaned all the married-life perks we miss out on in our nearly-30-and-still-single state.Fresh out of college, at the ripe age of 23, I distinctly remember having a conversation with a coworker about his girlfriend who had just turned 29. Today, she told me she was ignoring the truth and she didn’t have feelings for me. Of the 25 single men I surveyed ages 30-40, they all agree that around 35 is the best time for a man to be single. Last modified on Tue 16 Feb 2016 08.15 EST. All our values aligned and I was in awe of her. Best cities for single men 1. **, Press J to jump to the feed. To be honest, I (34/M) am a late bloomer in life. I am very thankful for the position I am in right now. Now as an adult all I wish is that someone had helped me so that I could have become a healthy adult. After losing touch for 12 years, Joanna re-enters Peter's life coincidentally at his 30th birthday party. Still together at 31. 0:30 This POS Stole Our Milk This Morning ( v.redd.it ) 25.6k points 25.6k points 25.6k points submitted 12 hours ago by adz5OOO to r/iamatotalpieceofshit 4 8 5 Obviously you’re going to be alone FOREVER. I figure if I'm going to be lonely, I might as well be alone. Luckily it was early enough that only a few close friends and my brother knew about us. Above 35 is less ideal and not bad so don’t be offended please if you are 36+. Sometimes though, waiting til 40 still seems like it would have been the right move. When I was single in my 30s, this was the reason for me too. My personal experience is that I spent my teens and 20's choosing partners that were emotionally unavailable, addicts, and/or incompatible because I was recreating the "love" and intimacy I experienced in my dysfunctional childhood. Baltimore, Maryland. Same. Im sure most of us can relate to that. 30 Reasons It's OK to Be Single at 30 (and Beyond) By Marissa Gol d. October 23, 2013. We were best friends and joked about getting married if we were still single when I hit 30. 21. Fell in love anyway. Thank you for all the advice and support. Very inspiring... Alcoholism. Travel, indulge, start over, treat yo-self. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Spoiler: I'm Fine. Wisdom is power. Image credit: Reddit/GreedyPaint. 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